I Pray More Than I Realized

P rayer is so many things. It’s talking to God, yes. And listening. And just being.

Prayer is stillness and quiet. It’s thoughts of gratitude. And feelings of heartache. Prayer is desperate pleading. Prayer is unbridled celebration. It’s long breaths; inhale, exhale.

Prayer is remembering. Prayer is forgetting.

Prayer is joy and fulfillment. It’s inside and outside. Prayer is wanting more but content with less. Prayer is thoughts inside my head that build up and seep out. Or never even get spoken out loud. Prayer is honesty with God.

Prayer is yearning to be different and yearning for different things. Prayer is satisfied restlessness and restless satisfaction. Prayer is tears of joy and tears of pain.

Prayer hurts and helps. It stings and soothes. It inflicts and embraces.

Prayer is sharing secrets with God. The good and the bad. It’s exposing my daring dreams and wistful longings.

Prayer is active and passive. It’s both audible and silent. Prayer is an external shout and an internal groan. It’s the Holy Spirit praying even when I can’t think of anything to say.

Prayer is life.

I pray more than I realized. Maybe, all the time.